I had good fortune to listen to a well reputed speaker on the above topic. His name is Yendamoori Veerendranath. For those in Andhra, he will be well recognized.
While we all have our own ways of parenting, listening to experts once in a while helps in two ways..
1. It reinforces what we already know and are doing right
2. It adds to what we know
The topic by itself is so engrossing that no amount is time is sufficient enough to complete the session. But the speaker did a good job in summarizing the whole thing into a one page doc which is available with me. I don’t know how to attach it in a blog, u may ask for it and I will mail u separately.
I am summing up what my take a ways are.
1. Acronym for parent.. Parent is a one who Prays together with children- is Available to them not when he can but when they want-participates with them in their Recreation-Educates them with what he knows not just pushing for studies-Provide them with Nutritious food- take them out on Trips to various locations. ( my daughter ticked and she gave me 3 out of 6 !)
2. Discourage Negative intelligence- he says spend time with children when they are happy. Once children learn that we will give in if they cry or bully us, it’s the beginning of development of negative intelligence in them
3. Don’t tell them to work hard to study.He says we only need to work hard to do things which are difficult or doing things which we are incapable of.
4. If our kids are sharing their ideas with us but not their anxiety, then they must be doing it with someone else! Understand their anxieties.
5. Avoid giving heavy calorie foods after 6 pm. Since heavy foods take more oxygen to digest, less oxygen goes to brain and children will be less attentive at studies.
6. When we are angry or unhappy with something, it is like a luggage we are shouldering and we must avoid to transfer that too our spouse or kids.
7. He says encouraging children to speak only when needed enhances their memory.
8. But the most interest idea I got was that of Vice-Holiday. Vice holiday is identifying vices that are affecting our children and encourage them to take holiday from one such thing each day of week.
• Say Monday – holiday from watching TV.
• Tuesday- holiday from playing computer/video games
• Wednesday – holiday from eating junks/sweets
• Thursday- holiday from shouting at siblings or
• Friday- one hour of complete silence.
But one mistake I did was that I went to this program without being accompanied by my wife!
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Friday, October 22, 2010
WHY ARE WE, WHAT WE ARE ?
Recently I received an interesting SMS forwarded by a friend of mine. It quoted “our problems are not our problems, but the way we see it is our real problem”. Very profound!
In one of the workshops conducted by swami sukhabodananda , he says that in the context of , when we are upset seeing India loose a match, the fact is that India lost on which we have no control but the decision to feel upset is ours.
So, when we can understand that our real problem is the way see the problem, what drives us to be so?
The root to this is to identify our emotional needs. The inner needs that drive our outer behavior. The emotional needs are many and we try to fulfill them all at some point of time. Some examples are; need to win, need to be loved, need to be included etc. The trouble is when our environment doesn’t support us to satisfy those needs, we express our displeasure through anger, withdrawal etc based on our personality type.
If you are curious to know what those are needs and how could one identify them, there is a comprehensive questionnaire available with me that I can share with you.
The next concern could be, is it bad to try and get our needs fulfilled? No, not at all, but if only we know how to get them fulfilled without affecting our relationships.
Like in medical cases, diagnosis is half cure. If we know what we want, we can easily find out how or where. Coaching is a powerful tool which can get you there!
The key is to know what
In one of the workshops conducted by swami sukhabodananda , he says that in the context of , when we are upset seeing India loose a match, the fact is that India lost on which we have no control but the decision to feel upset is ours.
So, when we can understand that our real problem is the way see the problem, what drives us to be so?
The root to this is to identify our emotional needs. The inner needs that drive our outer behavior. The emotional needs are many and we try to fulfill them all at some point of time. Some examples are; need to win, need to be loved, need to be included etc. The trouble is when our environment doesn’t support us to satisfy those needs, we express our displeasure through anger, withdrawal etc based on our personality type.
If you are curious to know what those are needs and how could one identify them, there is a comprehensive questionnaire available with me that I can share with you.
The next concern could be, is it bad to try and get our needs fulfilled? No, not at all, but if only we know how to get them fulfilled without affecting our relationships.
Like in medical cases, diagnosis is half cure. If we know what we want, we can easily find out how or where. Coaching is a powerful tool which can get you there!
The key is to know what
Saturday, June 19, 2010
DEVELOPING MORAL GUIDE-2
In continuation to my earlier post on developing Moral guide, i have received extremely diverse views. what i learnt was that we need to teach our children the virtues. we can do it by reading stories, using day to day experiences but not without demonstrating ourselves.
My friend sekhar has sent me a link(http://www.hinduism.co.za/conscien.htm) which takes us to swami vivekananda's talk on COnscience.
i am giving below a small extract from the same
How to Cultivate a Pure Conscience
Always keep the conscience bright and sharp by adhering to truth, righteousness and virtue. It will be your constant, elevating companion.
Virtuous acts, charity, benevolence, nobility, generosity, acts of mercy, and practice of truthfulness, celibacy and non-injury, sharpen the conscience.
Food plays an important role in the development of a pure conscience. Pure food helps a man to have a clean conscience, whereas animal food makes it impure. It produces a hard crust on the surface of the conscience and blunts it totally.
My next point that i want to riase is " am i being right when i balance my spouse's approach towards our kids?
by doing so, am i sending a conflicting signal to kids?
please do enlighten me.....
My friend sekhar has sent me a link(http://www.hinduism.co.za/conscien.htm) which takes us to swami vivekananda's talk on COnscience.
i am giving below a small extract from the same
How to Cultivate a Pure Conscience
Always keep the conscience bright and sharp by adhering to truth, righteousness and virtue. It will be your constant, elevating companion.
Virtuous acts, charity, benevolence, nobility, generosity, acts of mercy, and practice of truthfulness, celibacy and non-injury, sharpen the conscience.
Food plays an important role in the development of a pure conscience. Pure food helps a man to have a clean conscience, whereas animal food makes it impure. It produces a hard crust on the surface of the conscience and blunts it totally.
My next point that i want to riase is " am i being right when i balance my spouse's approach towards our kids?
by doing so, am i sending a conflicting signal to kids?
please do enlighten me.....
Monday, May 31, 2010
Developing Moral Guide
As a part of my psychology curriculum I was reading about development psychology. I am feeling excited about my new found knowledge and will sure take opportunities to share with you over a period of time.
While there are many interesting things being taught, one very intriguing statement is made in one of the topics discussing development of Moral values.
The recommendation is “Parents must develop Conscience as a Moral Guide” in children. It is a very profound advice. I am sure any young parent will relate to this that too given the social environment in which children of this generation are growing.
The challenge here is, is there a standard model we can use to develop conscience? We know how to impart values; we also knowingly or otherwise inculcate beliefs but what can be done to develop conscience as moral guide?
Are there any practices that we as a parent can follow, demonstrate? Are there any lessons or stories which we can narrate or read?
Please do share your experiences or learning’s.
While there are many interesting things being taught, one very intriguing statement is made in one of the topics discussing development of Moral values.
The recommendation is “Parents must develop Conscience as a Moral Guide” in children. It is a very profound advice. I am sure any young parent will relate to this that too given the social environment in which children of this generation are growing.
The challenge here is, is there a standard model we can use to develop conscience? We know how to impart values; we also knowingly or otherwise inculcate beliefs but what can be done to develop conscience as moral guide?
Are there any practices that we as a parent can follow, demonstrate? Are there any lessons or stories which we can narrate or read?
Please do share your experiences or learning’s.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
PLANNING SECOND LIFE-2
Coming to what M (mystery to me too!) wants.. I agree the enormous challenge life presents us with , be it opportunities to choose from or difficulties to overcome.
However when it comes to choosing the right opportunity , I feel it is critical for us to identify the dimensions of an ideal career.
The dimensions that I identified are
• Gives me a reason to wake up each day in the morning
• Is not transactional but relational
• Provides me with sense of accomplishment
• Enables me to serve others
• Allows me time to pursue my hobbies
• Does not intrude into my family obligations
• Gives me opportunity for continuous learning
• Uses my competencies to the fullest
• Rewards me economically.( here is the catch…most challenging!)
Once our dimensions are identified we have to rate each of the options available to us on a scale of 1-5 and see what scores the most.
I know that it is easier said than done but we have to get this right.
I hope to have made some sense…
However when it comes to choosing the right opportunity , I feel it is critical for us to identify the dimensions of an ideal career.
The dimensions that I identified are
• Gives me a reason to wake up each day in the morning
• Is not transactional but relational
• Provides me with sense of accomplishment
• Enables me to serve others
• Allows me time to pursue my hobbies
• Does not intrude into my family obligations
• Gives me opportunity for continuous learning
• Uses my competencies to the fullest
• Rewards me economically.( here is the catch…most challenging!)
Once our dimensions are identified we have to rate each of the options available to us on a scale of 1-5 and see what scores the most.
I know that it is easier said than done but we have to get this right.
I hope to have made some sense…
Thursday, February 18, 2010
PLANNING YOUR SECOND LIFE!
If you are wondering why is ONE LIFE talking about planning for second life! then I owe an explanation on what and why is ONE LIFE.
We all know that human birth is a great opportunity for us to redeem ourselves permanently from this viscous cycle of life and death. We have this ONE LIFE to dissolve ourselves into this magnificent Universe. Be a part of this silence, peace and experience oneness. To become part of what we know as GOD, for which we need to die.
But how we die depends on what we live for….that’s why I believe that we have ONE LIFE and its worth dying for.
The second life I actually mean is about our second career. Our fathers spent their whole life in one job. Many cases I know of people who committed themselves to that one job that they took years to overcome its loss on retirement. Also they just did not know what to do after that.
These days I can’t imagine we working for same place for 10 years forget 25-30 years as our fathers used to. Also the pace of life is such that we feel exhausted and it is no surprise that we do look for opportunities to change careers. Now this is what I call as Second life. The million dollar question is what should be our second career based on?
Should it build on the competencies we acquired in our first career or should it be in line with what we always wanted to but never got to do in our first career.
Should it be an serious career proposition or can it be a light occupation.
Or to simply put should it our hobby that can be economically rewarding.
Start thinking about it now ….it took me 3 years and many iterations to get my thought spot on what I want
We all know that human birth is a great opportunity for us to redeem ourselves permanently from this viscous cycle of life and death. We have this ONE LIFE to dissolve ourselves into this magnificent Universe. Be a part of this silence, peace and experience oneness. To become part of what we know as GOD, for which we need to die.
But how we die depends on what we live for….that’s why I believe that we have ONE LIFE and its worth dying for.
The second life I actually mean is about our second career. Our fathers spent their whole life in one job. Many cases I know of people who committed themselves to that one job that they took years to overcome its loss on retirement. Also they just did not know what to do after that.
These days I can’t imagine we working for same place for 10 years forget 25-30 years as our fathers used to. Also the pace of life is such that we feel exhausted and it is no surprise that we do look for opportunities to change careers. Now this is what I call as Second life. The million dollar question is what should be our second career based on?
Should it build on the competencies we acquired in our first career or should it be in line with what we always wanted to but never got to do in our first career.
Should it be an serious career proposition or can it be a light occupation.
Or to simply put should it our hobby that can be economically rewarding.
Start thinking about it now ….it took me 3 years and many iterations to get my thought spot on what I want
Friday, January 1, 2010
GOD and GOOGLE
I am fan of Google. Google has made our life so easy that you just need to ask. It is waiting to help you. I was just wondering ,is GOD also not waiting to help us ? Ttrying to make our life easy too. So this is an attempt to draw comparison between two
SOMETHING ABOUT GOOGLE:
• You need to type for what you want ask
• If you ask you get what you want with lots of choices
• There is no dilemma in what to choose if you know what you want
• You may receive what you asked for or you can jump into something interesting that Google throws
• Your search will be effective if your query is specific
• Google is not available offline.
• The speed at which it responds depends upon the bandwidth of your connection
• The bandwidth depends on the capacity modem/USB
ABOUT GOD:
You need to pray for what you want ask
• You get choices here too
• There is a risk of dilemma due to inner chatter
• You may receive what you asked for or may get diverted to alternate options god provides
• Your prayers will be answered if your clear about what you want
• You need to be online by getting connected to God
• Speed of response depends on your personal bandwidth.
• Your Bandwidth depends on your level of spiritual connectivity.
Today is day 1 of 2010. I wanted to make this a ideal day( i carry same belief that if you get it right on 1st day of year you will get it right each day of the year !)
So this blog on day 1 and with it comes my wishes for a great new year.
SOMETHING ABOUT GOOGLE:
• You need to type for what you want ask
• If you ask you get what you want with lots of choices
• There is no dilemma in what to choose if you know what you want
• You may receive what you asked for or you can jump into something interesting that Google throws
• Your search will be effective if your query is specific
• Google is not available offline.
• The speed at which it responds depends upon the bandwidth of your connection
• The bandwidth depends on the capacity modem/USB
ABOUT GOD:
You need to pray for what you want ask
• You get choices here too
• There is a risk of dilemma due to inner chatter
• You may receive what you asked for or may get diverted to alternate options god provides
• Your prayers will be answered if your clear about what you want
• You need to be online by getting connected to God
• Speed of response depends on your personal bandwidth.
• Your Bandwidth depends on your level of spiritual connectivity.
Today is day 1 of 2010. I wanted to make this a ideal day( i carry same belief that if you get it right on 1st day of year you will get it right each day of the year !)
So this blog on day 1 and with it comes my wishes for a great new year.
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